SYMBOLS OF SUBMISSION
I was having a discussion recently with a friend, and the topic was submission. It was a revealing conversation, since I had known this guy my whole life and had no idea we shared, um...that. He was sharing with me how much he wanted this dynamic with his wife, Em, but he felt strongly that she wasn't interested, and furthermore, he felt they couldn't have a conversation about it--at least not at this time. "What I'd love to do," he said, "Is give her something...a piece of jewelry, maybe, that she could put on when she wants to give herself to me fully. Then I would know; then I wouldn't make the mistake of going in a direction she's not interested in going."
I was floored. "What a beautiful idea," I said. Imagine, donning a symbol of your uninhibited submission. I imagined receiving such a gift from my beloved, and just the act of putting it on would put me in a submissive state. Then I saw an ideal where eventually I would wear it all the time. This discussion, and many more like it, forced me to look at submission as an idea outside of the usual BDSM arena, which I am not into, nor is my friend. I admitted to him that I have certain submissive tendencies, though, and what he was suggesting felt safe to me.
Not long after this conversation, I was in the middle of writing a pivotal love scene for my upcoming Romance/Suspense novel, Bella Rosa, and I found myself at an impasse. My characters, Vince and Rowan, were easing in to a dynamic in their relationship, but I was unsure of how to handle it. It was important to me that, while Vince had certain needs, that they not be forced on Rowan. Yet, in order to have a truly honest connection with her, these needs needed to be honored. It was then that the discussions D and I had came back to me. I came up with what I consider one of the best scenes in the book.
“Ro, I don’t want to hold too tight. I don’t want to drive you away.” He saw the tears pop into her eyes like something had burst.
Thanks for this, kiddo. Thanks for the friendship, for the talks, for the laughs, and for the love. This one's for you.
3/6/2013 05:19:52 pm
Stop posting teasers before I get to have the whole book! Grumble, grumble.
3/7/2013 01:33:34 pm
Cuz it's HIS show. :)
3/6/2013 08:36:57 pm
Great post! There is such symbolism and meaning in jewelry, and what a way to send a signal. When you are naked and the only thing you're wearing is the jewelry, you're more aware of it, and that evokes the meaning. I was thinking along a similar vein as you just recently. In my WIP, the hero gives the heroine a slave ankle bracelet.
3/7/2013 01:35:02 pm
Right? I mean, the whole thing hit me on such a visceral level. Not having this type of dynamic, a symbol like this would get me with the program pronto!
3/6/2013 10:07:07 pm
Love the scene, Jade. It is a beautiful thought, a piece of special jewelry to mark when she's ready. Of course, I sit here with a stainless steel circle of metal around my neck that it's physically impossible for me to remove- I can't see the screw well enough to use the special jeweler's size allen wrench, even if I wanted to :D. I love the emotion you brought to the exchanged :)
3/7/2013 01:36:38 pm
Joelle, there's something hot about that--not being able to remove it on your own. I think you deserve something bling-ish to go with the practical. Shall I speak with Shaman? ;)
3/8/2013 03:03:57 am
Jade, take a look at this site http://www.eternitycollars.com/ Idk if I'd want anything with bling though. I've never been into showy jewelry. although I've sometimes thought it'd be fun to have a leather tag that I could clip onto my collar when I'm somewhere that I can be totally out. You know, like the old dog tag on the first collar He put on me- that says "Joelle belongs to Shaman."
3/7/2013 01:49:55 am
3/7/2013 01:57:32 am
Absolutely Beautiful. The idea of the symbol and the excerpt. Beautiful.
3/7/2013 04:21:17 am
Oh, I love this. It's so beautiful. And I love how you connected with your friend with something like this. These kinds of moments are rare and incredible and should happen more often. Nice.
3/7/2013 01:37:55 pm
Yeah, Natasha. That was the big bonus here, to know that someone who is like a brother to me shares this, er...um...thing. Enlightening.
3/7/2013 06:11:40 am
I absolutely loved this! It's great that you were able to come up with something so wonderful after your conversation with your friend. It sounds like you have a great relationship.
3/7/2013 01:38:57 pm
Katherine, we do, and I cherish it. I may have to drop a little hint to my love. I'm liking this idea more and more.
3/7/2013 11:12:32 pm
I remember someone telling you, "Be careful what you wish for."
3/8/2013 03:05:25 am
Do you have a release date for "Bella Rosa" that I've just managed to miss?
3/8/2013 03:31:57 am
March 13, Joelle, and wow, that site is something. Which one do you have?
3/8/2013 09:06:44 pm
Actually I don't know that my collar is an Eternity Collar, but these are like what mine is. My Master had gotten the collar from a Gorean friend who'd just released a kajira that was no longer pleasing him. I'd saw the "raw collar" looks most like mine. Just a simple piece of stainless steel around my neck. But my collar is large for me, definitely fits "Turian style" (a term from the Chronicles of Gor book by John Norman), meaning that my Master can grasp the collar with both hands and I can still turn in it.
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Jade Cary writes Romantica and Romantic Suspense, on the rocks with a twist. Bottoms up!
SITES I DIG
A FADED ROMANTIC
ALTA HENSLEY, ROMANCE AUTHOR
ART OF AUTHORITY
BASIA ROSE, AUTHOR
BLACK VELVET SEDUCTIONS
BOTTOMS UP BOOK REVIEWS
CARA BRISTOL, AUTHOR
CDD FOR LIFE/PATTY DEVLIN
CELESTE JONES, AUTHOR
THE DISCIPLINED FEMINIST
EMMA K. GARDNER, AUTHOR
FREDDY AND EDDY - A WEBSITE OF ALL COUPLES
THE HAND OF LOVE
HEART AND SOUL
THE IMPROVED CHAUVINIST
KARLA DOYLE, AUTHOR
KOREY MAE JOHNSON, AUTHOR
LAZY DAY PUBLISHING
MY BOTTOM SMARTS
RENEE ROSE, AUTHOR
SADEY QUINN, AUTHOR
SARADORA'S SPANKING FICTION
SUE LYNDON, AUTHOR
TROLLOP WITH A LAPTOP