SYMBOLS OF SUBMISSION

I was having a discussion recently with a friend, and the topic was submission. It was a revealing conversation, since I had known this guy my whole life and had no idea we shared, um...that. He was sharing with me how much he wanted this dynamic with his wife, Em, but he felt strongly that she wasn't interested, and furthermore, he felt they couldn't have a conversation about it--at least not at this time.  "What I'd love to do," he said, "Is give her something...a piece of jewelry, maybe, that she could put on when she wants to give herself to me fully. Then I would know; then I wouldn't make the mistake of going in a direction she's not interested in going."

I was floored. "What a beautiful idea," I said. Imagine, donning a symbol of your uninhibited submission. I imagined receiving such a gift from my beloved, and just the act of putting it on would put me in a submissive state. Then I saw an ideal where eventually I would wear it all the time. This discussion, and many more like it, forced me to look at submission as an idea outside of the usual BDSM arena, which I am not into, nor is my friend. I admitted to him that I have certain submissive tendencies, though, and what he was suggesting felt safe to me.

Not long after this conversation, I was in the middle of writing a pivotal love scene for my upcoming Romance/Suspense novel, Bella Rosa, and I found myself at an impasse. My characters, Vince and Rowan, were easing in to a dynamic in their relationship, but I was unsure of how to handle it. It was important to me that, while Vince had certain needs, that they not be forced on Rowan. Yet, in order to have a truly honest connection with her, these needs needed to be honored. It was then that the discussions D and I had came back to me. I came up with what I consider one of the best scenes in the book.

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“Ro, I don’t want to hold too tight. I don’t want to drive you away.” He saw the tears pop into her eyes like something had burst.

“Oh, sweetie...”

“No, let me finish. I want you to come to me. I want to give you what you need, and I don’t want my needs to overshadow yours. I need control, I need to protect you, I need to lead. I know I’m asking a lot.” He reached for his jacket and pulled out the box.

“I was saving this for another time – I didn’t know when – but it’s taken on new meaning for me now.” He handed the box to her.

She held the black velvet, five-by-seven-inch box in her hands, her mouth open, her eyes moist. She lifted the lid, the hinge creaking faintly. Vince watched her face as she took in the jeweled, drop Y-necklace, the silver-linked chain dotted with pink sapphires halfway up both sides. Another chain dropped down from that, also encrusted with white pave diamonds and pink sapphires coming together through the loop at the top of a paddle-shaped pendant. The focal point, a two-and-a-half carat pink sapphire, was surrounded by tiny pink and white Swarovsky crystals, dark pink around the sapphire, fading to light pink, and to white up the handle of the ‘paddle.’ The necklace was long; he wanted the sapphire to rest between her breasts.

“Oh, Vincent.” She took the necklace out of the box and held it up. It glimmered in the dim light of the room. His heart pounded. He wanted so much for her to love it, and he wanted her to accept it on the terms he’d decided on only a few moments ago. He cupped her hand and they held the piece up together.

“It’s simply stunning. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. My God, it must have cost...”

“Shhhh. I won’t discuss that, nor is it your concern. I want you to take this from me as my commitment to you, that you come first.” He caressed her face. “Ro, I want you to put this on whenever you feel like offering your submission to me. I’ll take it as a sign you’re ready for me to lead, to take charge. It doesn’t have to be about sex, but I’ll expect at times it will be, and I’ll take you my own way then. But, to me, this means more than sex. I know what I need, but I’m not going to suck what I need out of you. I want it only if you’re willing to give it freely. Wear this and I’ll know you trust me enough to take care of you in all ways.”

“I’m overwhelmed,” she whispered, tears now streaming down her face. “You overwhelm me.”

“Please put it on me. I want to wear it right now.”

“Do you understand what I’m asking with this?”

“Yes. I’ll wear it to honor you, love.”

He smiled. “Damn,” he whispered. He kissed her deep, slow.
Vincent’s sensuous mouth was making her almost too week to stand. He held the necklace in his hand, the delicacy of the piece resting against his dark skin was almost as sensual as the piece itself. Rowan was spent with emotion. The gift, and the idea behind it, was beautiful, yet that description did not do it justice.

A symbol that gave him permission to be who he was, and that gave her permission to give herself to him, a gift she did not mind giving him, even when over his knee with her bottom bare.

“Gonna have you, babe. Gonna take you tonight, gonna own you. And I’ll put this on you when I’m ready. Understood?”

“Yes, honey. I understand.” She took a deep breath and settled into her role. She’d soaked her panties at his threat in the restaurant, and her body continued to betray her now. His voice, raspy and low when he went ‘Dom’ on her, had her almost convulsing. She was so ready for him. She wanted him so bad, yet it was not up to her tonight. Nothing was up to her tonight.

Thanks for this, kiddo. Thanks for the friendship, for the talks, for the laughs, and for the love. This one's for you.