HOLD My HAND

He reaches to Hold My Hand
And I walk into the unknown.
I cling to the possibility
As I escape into the forbidden.
He whispers Hold My Hand
And I lay myself before him.
I hunger for his offering
As I soar to new heights.
He reaches to Hold My Hand
And I am touched by grace.
I am set free through my bonds
As I reach to Hold his Hand.

“Stop right there, little elf, before our fun afternoon turns into a session in obedience. Do not belittle yourself. No more of that,” William held my chin as he spoke. He knew as well as I did that I would’ve ducked my head at the reprimand. He kissed me lightly before whispering, “You’re perfect to me.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t help my response. It was so ingrained in me that I was unworthy that accepting his words as truth was near impossible. William squeezed my jaw enough to be uncomfortable. “Repeat after me,” he said. “I am perfect.”

I pulled back, hoping he’d let me go and knowing at the same time it wasn’t likely. “I can’t.” Tears began to pool in my eyes and I blinked to hold them back.

“I’m going to hold your hand every step of the way until you realize just how perfect you are,” William breathed the words into my ear as one hand remained on my chin while the other stroked my hair. “Now, repeat it. I am perfect.”

The pause was too long and I heard William growl so I whispered, “I am prefect.”

“You are perfect,” he said as he looked into my eyes, “Say it again.”

“I am perfect,” I whispered again, uncomfortable and fidgeting with my hands.

“Louder,” William commanded. His voice wrought with the tone of a man with whom you shouldn’t argue.

“I am perfect,” I said with an indoor voice my kindergarten teacher would approve of.

“You are perfect. Now louder still.”

“Will…” he shook his head and my words immediately stopped.

“Repeat the words, Aubrey, just the words. We’re going to do this until you believe them.”

“I won…” again, he cut my words off with the shake of his head and a stern look.

Tears blurred my sight as I continued to blink them away but succeeded only in pushing them down my cheeks. Once they began to fall, I couldn’t seem to stop them. I wanted so badly to stop them before he became angry with me. I kept my gaze averted. I looked at my feet, afraid of the sight of William mad.

“Look at me,” William used his thumb to pull my chin up again. “Look. At. Me.” His sternly spoken words set me on edge but I followed his command. When my eyes met his, I saw something I couldn’t comprehend. I saw sympathy. I saw understanding. I saw hope. He wasn’t angry but he watched me carefully.

Then he smiled at my surprise.

“I’m not angry with your tears. They’re beautiful to me. But right now, we’re working at you acknowledging that beauty. Repeat after to me. I am perfect.”

I swallowed and when I spoke, my voice was scratchy but audible. “I am perfect.”

William leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “Again, sweet Aubrey.”

“I am perfect.”

He opened the door and pulled Rowan inside. She would pay for this, and she would pay dearly. Vincent Girardi did not suffer fools, and he found that he suffered foolish women even less. The door banged shut under his foot, and after setting his gun down on the side table, he dragged her struggling form into the living room. He did not think he’d met a stupider woman, and if her stupidity did not get her shapely ass killed, he’d gladly do the job. He sat on the arm of the couch and hauled her over his knee.

“You wouldn’t dare,” she hissed.

“Let’s test your theory.” He swung his hand back and landed hard over her tightly-encased backside. “Any more thoughts?”

“I am my own woman,” she screeched. “I can do what I want!”
“Oh, really. Well, so can I.” He pulled his hand back and swatted her again.
“Oh! I’m not going to stand for this, Vincent!”
“You won’t be sitting for it, either. Maybe you can levitate.” He swung again, delivering
another stinging smack.

Rowan grunted and attempted to push up off his lap. He gripped her around the waist and
placed her right back into position. She fought, kicked, and squirmed, grasping for escape by any means necessary, all to no avail. She was well and truly caught.

“You can’t do this to me!” she howled.

As mad as Vince was, that particular statement amused him. “I can’t, huh? Holler when the reality of the situation has reached your pea-sized brain.” And with that, he wound up and brought his hand down in a staccato rhythm that shut her up quick.

He throws his head back and laughs. His laugh at once chills and renews her. It also has the ability to enrage her, like now.

            “Don’t you dare laugh at me!  Don’t you dare!” She hurls a ceramic pig he had won for her at a street carnival during their first trip to Chile. She likes pigs. It narrowly misses his head, but he does not flinch.

            Val smiles, but his eyes are sad. “Oh, Diana. Sweetheart.” His eyes have a way of crinkling at the edges when he smiles. It was one among many of his endearing qualities.

            “You left me.” Calm. “You just left!” Hysterical. “I go days where I…don’t know where I am,” she finishes with a whisper. Her sobs keep her from formulating words to her liking.

            He does not move. “I know that you do not want apologies. But…I’m sorry. I am, querida. I’m sorry I left before you were ready.”

            “I begged you not to go.”

            “I had to. I had to go.”

            “I will never understand that. I will never understand why. I will never forgive you.”

            “You will, lady wife. You will do all of those things.”

            Diana sits on the edge of their bed. “Why do I feel you next to me at night? I still smell you, like you just came out of the shower.”

            “I will always be here for you.”

            “Bullshit! You’re not here. I can’t hold you, I can’t kiss you, I can’t aggravate you into a good, old-fashioned chase, a quickie slap and tickle, can I? Can I, Val?”

            “No, sweetheart, you can’t.”

            “God, sometimes the ache is so deep I fear I won’t survive it, Val. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you!” She lunges at his image and swings wildly, connecting with nothing.

            “If I could manage it, I would spank you. One more time, long and hard. You would have that coming, right about now.”

            Light streams in through the window, and he disappears.

            “I’d give anything for that,” she says, pulling the covers over herself against the early morning chill. “Anything.”

BELLA ROSA

This is the city.

Murder and violence is all in a day’s work for Lieutenant Vincent Girardi. But there is something about this murder that doesn’t add up. When a piece of paper with an address written on it is found at the crime scene, Vince believes that perhaps this victim wasn’t the intended target.

Dr. Rowan Delaney is biding her time. In less than a week she will give testimony that will rid her of a painful past once and for all, and grant her and her two children the freedom she has been seeking for years. When Lieutenant Vincent Girardi and his partner show up at her door to question her about the murdered woman across the street, and then suggest that she may have been the intended target, she refuses all help or protection, intending to fulfill her obligation in front of the Grand Jury without interference from anyone—including the handsome cop darkening her doorstep.

But the Lieutenant has other plans. He is convinced the pretty doctor was the intended victim, and he is determined to find out why, starting with Rowan’s absentee husband, head of a notorious drug cartel. Vince is determined to see the woman and her children safe; Rowan is determined to start her life over—after her testimony.

Can Vince protect her without his feelings for her getting in the way? And can Rowan accept his care, along with a heavy dose of hubris and alpha dominance, without losing herself in the process?

And will their growing love be enough to save them from the evil that will not take no for an answer?

** THIS BOOK IS A ROMANCE/SUSPENSE THAT CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT WITHIN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP, INCLUDING DOMINATION AND THE NON-CONSENSUAL SPANKING OF AN ADULT FEMALE **

“Ro, I don’t want to hold too tight. I don’t want to drive you away.” He saw the tears pop into her eyes like something had burst.

“Oh, sweetie...”

“No, let me finish. I want you to come to me. I want to give you what you need, and I don’t want my needs to overshadow yours. I need control, I need to protect you, I need to lead. I know I’m asking a lot.” He reached for his jacket and pulled out the box.

“I was saving this for another time – I didn’t know when – but it’s taken on new meaning for me now.” He handed the box to her.

She held the black velvet, five-by-seven-inch box in her hands, her mouth open, her eyes moist. She lifted the lid, the hinge creaking faintly. Vince watched her face as she took in the jeweled, drop Y-necklace, the silver-linked chain dotted with pink sapphires halfway up both sides. Another chain dropped down from that, also encrusted with white pave diamonds and pink sapphires coming together through the loop at the top of a paddle-shaped pendant. The focal point, a two-and-a-half carat pink sapphire, was surrounded by tiny pink and white Swarovsky crystals, dark pink around the sapphire, fading to light pink, and to white up the handle of the ‘paddle.’ The necklace was long; he wanted the sapphire to rest between her breasts.

“Oh, Vincent.” She took the necklace out of the box and held it up. It glimmered in the dim light of the room. His heart pounded. He wanted so much for her to love it, and he wanted her to accept it on the terms he’d decided on only a few moments ago. He cupped her hand and they held the piece up together.

“It’s simply stunning. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. My God, it must have cost...”

“Shhhh. I won’t discuss that, nor is it your concern. I want you to take this from me as my commitment to you, that you come first.” He caressed her face. “Ro, I want you to put this on whenever you feel like offering your submission to me. I’ll take it as a sign you’re ready for me to lead, to take charge. It doesn’t have to be about sex, but I’ll expect at times it will be, and I’ll take you my own way then. But, to me, this means more than sex. I know what I need, but I’m not going to suck what I need out of you. I want it only if you’re willing to give it freely. Wear this and I’ll know you trust me enough to take care of you in all ways.”

“I’m overwhelmed,” she whispered, tears now streaming down her face. “You overwhelm me.”

“Please put it on me. I want to wear it right now.”

“Do you understand what I’m asking with this?”

“Yes. I’ll wear it to honor you, love.”

He smiled. “Damn,” he whispered. He kissed her deep, slow.
Vincent’s sensuous mouth was making her almost too week to stand. He held the necklace in his hand, the delicacy of the piece resting against his dark skin was almost as sensual as the piece itself. Rowan was spent with emotion. The gift, and the idea behind it, was beautiful, yet that description did not do it justice.

A symbol that gave him permission to be who he was, and that gave her permission to give herself to him, a gift she did not mind giving him, even when over his knee with her bottom bare.

“Gonna have you, babe. Gonna take you tonight, gonna own you. And I’ll put this on you when I’m ready. Understood?”

“Yes, honey. I understand.” She took a deep breath and settled into her role. She’d soaked her panties at his threat in the restaurant, and her body continued to betray her now. His voice, raspy and low when he went ‘Dom’ on her, had her almost convulsing. She was so ready for him. She wanted him so bad, yet it was not up to her tonight. Nothing was up to her tonight.